nothin new

Spinning spinning like towels in the laundromat flicked the switch to spin cycle and the colours blur together and there’s no singular no more. Just blurry lines of a miscellaneous colour. And we’re spinning spinning round my mind. Life’s too cyclical for me to write about something other than the same old things and I’m sorry. Same food in my cupboard week after week and I stop at the same shops and wear the same fucking turtlenecks it’s nothin new. You don’t need to worry. And I don’t need to update you cause it’s nothin new.

Getting pretty damn tired of selling this life. Perfume adds on TV of pretty white girls running down streets in Paris like hey you can have this lifestyle too and you can smell like daisies and have no cares in the world what the fuck it’s all a hoax. I’m trying to sell you a version of me, so don’t trust me. the ad’s got nothin to do with the fucking perfume the ad’s got nothin to do with the fuckin perfume and I promise everything you see has nothin to do with me and everything to do with you. You only see me how I want u to. Stare at the mirror but it won’t stare back at you.

A self trapped inside some thoughts in this mind trapped inside some flesh in this life. It’s an infinite regress where I believe each iteration is me. The uselessness of the Identity Fallacy. But I’ll believe it if it helps me sleep at night. Can you blame me? But you wouldn’t be blaming Me.

Try to fall into a routine so my life can look like it has a shape even though every second day I feel lost and small I’ll just wrap myself in routines. Wake up clean your face. Get dressed and go get ur coffee it’s easy I promise just move one foot in front of the other and you’ll be there soon. Sounds simple but some days it’s a lot fucking easier than others. Dunno why that’s the case. Why it feels like some days gravity becomes centred on me and the atmosphere pushes me down relentlessly and I can’t go get my coffee. Guess I’ll stay in bed, fuck those routines they were always just the semblance of functionality. Just a semblance. End the sentence with just a semblance.

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