another song

cafe on the west side
filled with all the thoughts you’ve ever known
it’s too suffocating to truly see
let alone breathe

you take a seat next to a thought you had
when you were fifteen
oh god how misguided was she
trying so hard to be herself
but always ending up as someone else
couldn’t pick out her own face if she was looking in a mirror
baby blue these flickerin lights making things that shine
look dimmer

broken records playing songs from that night
you don’t want to remember
didn’t think you’d make it out alive
from that awful december
silent screams in scolding showers
at that god forsaken hour

and you couldn’t tell your parents
it’d break their hearts

you’re hanging the washing out the next morning
dried tears formed into freckles on your face
and your old best friend’s texted you
cause she knew something was wrong
but you guys haven’t spoken in so long
and you don’t know how to explain to her
that you want to be on fire
to turn into ash and dust
to raise this body higher

you don’t get a chance to respond
because someone in the cafe
has changed the song
and now you’re nineteen
and more lost than ever before
but somehow it doesn’t feel wrong
anymore
you don’t feel like it’s a lie
when you call this body home
and though you live by yourself
you’ve never felt less alone

now a new tune is playing
and i know it won’t last for long
but at least in this cafe
there will always be one more song

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