1. it ends or it doesn’t
Either what you’re going through is only temporary and you don’t need to stress because it will end in it’s own time. Or it’s permanent and you must learn to adapt. You adapt, you adjust and you do not perish. Most things end when they’re meant to. Most things end.
2. life will keep sending you the same messages until you learn
If you are feeling frustrated and stuck in limbo, it’s likely you’re avoiding or not reading the signs. Take a step back and watch the universe do it’s thing. Be grateful for the mountains in the way of your path because it’s the only way you learn how to climb.
3. meditation solves most things
The thinking mind is one of your greatest assets and your greatest enemies. When you listen to it for too long you will start to believe its warped point of view. Meditation helps you watch the mind without getting attached to the narrative. Trust me, whatever you’re going through – meditation can help you.
4. it’s rarely personal
People are generally good and so are you. When someone snaps or gets mad, it’s more of a reflection of their own circumstance than a judgement of you as a person. Instead of reacting try to empathise and understand their point of view. Inhale compassion and exhale ego.
5. everything you need is already inside of you
Those new clothes, the new hair, the new job, house, friend – none of it is going to make you happier because peace is only genuine when it comes from inside of you. Whatever you’re going through, find the strength inside of you to persevere. I guarantee it will always be there.
6. success is subjective
Being around smart and motivated people can sometimes make you feel inadequate – but that’s only because you’re buying into their conception of success. If you’ve never wanted to be a corporate lawyer or top CEO, stop worrying about the people that are on that path and start forging your own towards a career that will make you feel fulfilled. That’s what success is – fulfilment.
7. listening to frank ocean will make any situation better
Sometimes there’s nothing you need more than to sit on your bedroom floor with a cold cup of tea and cry to White Ferrari. Let yourself break down and fall apart. It’s the only way you can build yourself back up. No matter how small you may feel, take solace in the fact that we’re taller in another dimension.
8. social media is not worth your anxiety
The culture of cultivating idealised images for consumption can really take a toll on your mental health when you believe these projections are an accurate representation of reality. Instagram was never intended to show the authenticity and complexity of human life. So stop stressing about whether or not your feed is ‘you’ and stop believing that other people’s feeds are really ‘them’. Social media is fun but it will never be more than a simulacrum.
9. the people in your life are there for a reason
And the people not in your life are not there for a reason. The people you call your friends are all part of the universe’s plan. They’re there to teach you lessons and you’re there to help them too. No matter how alone you may be feeling, it is never truth.
10. mental health is more important than grades
Top marks and high distinctions will never make you feel whole. If your identity is connected to a perceived sense of intelligence you’ll always feel insecure. Because there’s always someone smarter than you. The good news is that there’s never anyone more you than you. So focus on taking care of that brain of yours and give yourself a break when you need it.
11. there are no destinations apart from this
Who would’ve thought that a quote from your discovery HSC supp would end up being one of your favourites…but it’s stuck because sometimes you forget that the journey itself is the destination. Whatever you’re searching for, there’s no point you get to where you just ‘have it’. Everything is always ebbing and flowing and you always need to move towards your goals. You don’t just ‘arrive’ at happiness – you constantly strive for it.
12. you can’t be anyone but you so there’s no point trying
You have no trouble loving unconditionally the flaws that make your friends so admirably human, but it’s harder to love yourself without restraint. It’s difficult sometimes to look in the mirror and not see all the things you’d like to change. But whether or not you are who you’d like to be, you’re always going to be you. And you need to learn how to embrace this person beyond the tangible and the material. There’s nothing better than being in your body and experiencing life as you – imperfectly and humanly.
13. wear your goddamn retainer and take your vitamins
You’re a bloody idiot for not wearing your retainer…twice. Just make sure to wear it in the future. And remember to take your vitamins. You need them. Stay healthy. I love you.
14. write more
There’s something cleansing about externalising a feeling and being able to see it from a distance. Just write and see where the words take you. Sometimes you’ll discover things you didn’t even know you felt. Write more about your day. It’s nice to remember the process, how you’ve gotten to this point.
15. nobody has it all figured out
Adulthood is scary as fuck and the decisions you make are yours to bear. But don’t get too caught up in thinking you’re the only one that gets anxious and doesn’t know what you’re doing. Everyone’s just stumbling around and things randomly fall into place, things collapse, you get up and rebuild them. Most of the time there’s no order to life, so don’t feel inadequate if you can’t figure out the pattern. You don’t need to know where you’re going all the time. You just need to go.
16. you can’t run away from your problems
If you’re sad, you’re sad. Whether you’re in your room, at a concert, or a cafe in New York. Bad feelings will follow you until they’re resolved because they’re internal. Your environment is inconsequential. You’re gonna get sad sometimes and want to drop everything and fly to Paris. But you can’t outrun your feelings. Just make sure, wherever you go, you know that the answers are and always will be internal. They are not contingent on the view outside your window.
17. forgive yourself, again and again
You are human and you are going to fumble. You’ll say the wrong thing or repeat the same mistake one too many times. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. You are learning and you are growing, even if you don’t feel it. Practice unconditional love for yourself, truly and fully.
18. always take a step back
Sometimes you get so caught up in the details you forget to take a step back. You get so caught up in the day to day flow that you lose track of the bigger picture. Step away and breathe for a while. Come back with a fresh mind. Give yourself space when you need it. The world will always be there for you to come back to.
19. let it come, let it be, let it go
You gain nothing from suppressing your feelings. I know it’s hard, but try to go with difficult emotions, not against them. They will pass in their own time, but you have to stop to feel them first. Like waves crashing, allow these feelings to build, hit and then crash and fade away into nothingness. Feeling is what makes you human, even when it hurts.